Brain Jelly

Yep...got a lot of that these days. I mean, my brain seems to be turning into jelly. I keep losing myself in my thoughts, nothing really there...just kinda spacing. I don't like it. I don't know what is the cause either. It's almost like I will start to think of something then before I come to any form of conclusion I will simply give up and start thinking of something else....and then repeat the process. Work is turning out to be pretty fun. I don't mind going about the store being a busy little bee and doing my planograms. The only that gets on my nerves is when a customer stands a couple feet away from me and just stares at me, waiting for me to take my attention away from the long list of 7 digit numbers, scanning, looking for a particular one, then they get irritated and say something like, "Do you work here?" No, I just wear this to blend in... Or "Do you help people out here?" Yes, but not when they bother me while I am working on something more important. "Can you tell me where (insert random thing, or bathroom)" Yep over that way, under the large banner that says the name of the department you want to find.  Otherwise, it's not bad at all.

I don't enjoy the fact that we will probably be losing the place we were promised to live in. It was supposed to be the home we would make our lives in, where we could decorate and design how we wanted within limits of course. However, that probably won't happen, so we will cram everything we own into storage and grab the essentials and live in Ash's mother's basement. Never thought i'd say I have lived in a basement, but I guess coming from a place where basements don't exists, I suppose I should look at it as a second floor, just in a different direction..or thinking that Ash's mom and Na, live in the attic of our small two roomed house.

Cancelled the trip down south, kinda bummed about that. Ash said it was up to me, but it was really the financially logical choice to make. We were both looking forward to visiting, parents, Jeremy, and Draven are coming up in June, however. So I suppose waiting a couple extra months can't hurt. The sheets on the bed are bothersome, woke up today wrapped like like a burrito within a burrito.....mexican inception.

Crashing soon...more as it unfolds.

Shorter version of a longer old post

Yesterday I was going to post, but that kind of went to the way side because I forgot to post it so I am just going to recap the day in a few sentences to kinda catch myself up on the events of what happened.

Went to DnD....got there early....Ron was late.
Casey fell asleep a bunch.
Blaine was a tard, got himself killed.
Grabbed Subway for myself and the wife.
Went to work with her.
Bought a new netbook...turns out they are kind of shitty...wifey is thinking of taking it back since her old laptop is pretty much fucked and we had to send it off with the Geek Squad to get it fixed. It should be done in about 2 to 4 weeks...I am looking more towards like 3 weeks. A happy medium in the middle.
I think the dog is getting sick...he pee'd in a large trail around the kitchen, the living room, the hall, and the back room.

Woke up today around 11 thanks to the mother in law reminding us that it was 11 AM. Probably would have slept a little longer, but doubt it. Saw Jimmy and Keyaire, gave them nuts with chocolate. Made baller ass spaghetti and garlic bread....Doom Generation sucked. Watched about 10 minutes of it and turned it off. Going for a walk soon....Deuces!

Yeeeeah!

I never can come up with a title for these damn things. So it was my wifey's B-day today!! Huzzah! She has turned 22 today! Which seems like a long time ago for myself...almost 5 years ago.  I can remember some of the things that were going on around then...mostly I think my life has changed in the last year or two that up until then it was all irrelevant.

Today we were gonna go to Coopers Rock, which I still want to go..that place is so pretty. I took the day off from work, via the Fast Track so it was pretty easy to kinda fool the doctor. I think she may have known a little of the act I was putting on. However, either I am a good actor or she just didn't care and gave me a script for some 800mg Ibupro and some muscle  relaxers, strong shit. Took me off guard.

After our little doctor's visit, we drove around, and finally ended up at this awesome Italian hole in the wall, Puglioni's. It looks like it can hold like 40 people at most. We were two of about 10 people that were there. We got a pair of salads that were nommy. Their bread was really good...probably going to kill me, but still good. We ended up getting a pair of Calzones...which were a-fucking-mazing.

I hope that Ash had a good b-day...it was very chill today. She asked me the other night if we were getting boring. Sometimes I think we don't get out enough, but I know it's because of the money situation i've put us in. Since the snow has gone, which I hope it's gone for good till next winter, we can start going for walks like we did today, two good walks around the hood. Then once it gets warmer we can go down to the trails and walk, or do whatever else outside in the awesome nice fresh air.

Went to Casa a little bit ago...I think Ash and I are spoiled from Milano's. The pizza at Casa is good, but I think they have too much grease which I never seemed to notice before, until we started eating better pizza and just eating healthier in general.

Well gonna run, I can only really type on here till my brain starts to sputter and my thoughts turn into strange incoherant rants.....deuces!

Back from a long vay-cay.

So here I am again, I have started to put down what's going on in my life, in my world, in my head. If I could get an iPod of the songs that are constantly playing in my head I could probably have a really awesome radio station. Today it was Tuesday's Gone by Lynard Skynard. I've got two days left in my position as Asset Protection at Best Buy...hu-fucking-zzah! I think the problems with my knees and ankles have been developing from standing in one position for hours at a time. With this project team position i'll be able to actually walk around and do shit....and hey! imagine this I'll get to sit down if I fucking feel like it!!! Hah.

Finally got into a group to play DnD again...it was a great first session, it took a while to get things started since I got my character up and running in about 10 minutes while it took the others about an hour or so. I sat there with my nose in my Pathfinder books trying to catch up on rules.

Hmm.lets see...talked to the rents today..son didn't want to talk because he was busy being engrossed by The Electric Company cartoon..which is fine. I plan on calling tomorrow to talk to him lol. My weight is steady..sitting at 208 down from 220...from back in Jan. I think I am going to try and make it to an even 200..or maybe even 195 if I could. If I build up a good amount of muscle I'll probably be sitting at 210 again but at least it won't be fat.

Going home some time in March...I miss home a good bit sometimes. Other times I feel like it's right around the corner and I am just not seeing anyone I know. I talked a lot with the new girl Eliza today. She is an interesting girl, I made her question her decision to take time off of school. I want to go back myself, but I just want to know that i'll be going back to get something that will make me happy.

Anyway...my brain is starting to sputter...I need to come up with a post for the VNO game. BRB later!!!

Falling away from me.

So I have yet to really get settled down here in my new hometown. I don't really have any friends outside of work to hang out with, which doesn't really bother me but I am lacking in activities to do like I used to. Even if it was just one day a week when I went over to Thom's to play D&D. I know I used to be able to go around and see all my friends, it's not even really about that. I don't really have the time to go out and do stuff like that.

I'm am tired of being the silent one..but the rule of being around is to keep your mouth shut, no matter what. Einstein said that if a successful life is A..and A=x+y+z ..then x=work, y=play, and z=keeping your mouth shut.

I just want to have things be simple again. I'm tired of addicts, i'm tired of shit bags in other states, i'm tired of animals, i'm tired of so much shit...and it all doesn't even really matter because I can do something about it all if I stopped being lazy...but I guess what i'm trying to say to myself is why should I have to do something about it? I walked into the situation when I moved up here...I am in no means regretting moving here...I just wish that moving here would have been simple. I suppose nothing in life is simple by any means...I just think that the apartment I used to live in...it was simple. We had our bills lined up and we paid them. If the mentor network would have gotten their shit right the job situation would have been fine.

I think I am getting high blood pressure too..or something of the effect of it..probably doing me good to watch what i'm eating. I can't wait for my hair to get longer...it will be nice to have my hair long again like I used to. I can't wait for winter to set in..So much shit I can't wait for..heh..what else is new always so eager for shit that I have no control over.

I suppose thats another thing I am finding I am angry about..the lack of control I or my wife have over things...we are just pressing the walls of our boundaries and then moving back into placation. Neither of us are making the money we wanted to...we don't get the hours we want...so we aren't saving up all the money like we thought we would...american dream I suppose...work work work and it's never enough.  Fuck it.

Can it be sooner rather than later?

So at my job they've managed to somehow halve my hours that I'd asked for at the start of this whole shindig. Which making a little over ten dollars an hour is great and everything, but when you only get piss poor hours it doesn't really matter what you make. Hell I would take a pay cut if it meant that I got full time hours...at least then I wouldn't get raped in taxes as bad.

Called off work the other day, now everyone seems to dislike me even more so than I had previously expected. Walked into work, said Hello to Shane, first thing he does is look at me, nod, then walk out without a word. I let it go because it's like 9 in the morning and we are both tired. Well the day goes on and Dan comes in and I say hello, well...nothing...as expected. Well after that I got to talk to Rich, the head of the Asset Protection department, he wants me to work with him since I seem dedicated enough and focused on my job, he also knows of my martial arts background and my small time as a bouncer. Also sat down with Paul and I will be starting in the warehouse the second week of October so I am looking forward to that.

Came back to Cathy's for some bomb-diggity Chili. I fucking love chili. Especially when it's cold outside. So thats about all I got for that...Lets see...starting to cut back on the calorie intake, and upload on the proteins...so hopefully my Hulk like transformation will be awesome...at least more awesome than my transformation into a big Teal meanie.

A form of welcome and a little poem?

Blogging was something I did a long time ago, mostly as a form of putting up angst ridden poetry or odd stories that gravitated through my mind either during work or in the fleeting moments before I was whisked away to dreamland. Now some years later I have been asked by my wife to return to the act so that I can put down some of my thought processes, inspiration influences, strokes of 'genius' or just whats grinding my gears. 

To those that have made it past that small introduction, welcome. I don't really have much to say within this first post, however I am sure there will be much more to come. So with this first post I'll just put up some words strung together for a little bit and see what they look like after....enjoy.

I used to be so young and invincible.
The mistakes of my youth are finally catching up to me.
The face that stares back in the mirror should carry nothing but pride.
As the days go by, it's getting harder to hold my head up high.
I've never been so tired,
I've never felt so weak,
But I swear to you that I'm not giving up.
My storied life is coming to a graceful descent.
Descend.
I've seen peace end and battles begin.
I won't forget the lives I touched.
I won't forget the life I know.
As the days go by, it's getting harder to hold my head up high.
I used to think I'd last forever.
I'm praying for the light to just carry me away.
Say goodnight.
Say goodbye.
This is my time to be with my lord.