Falling away from me.

So I have yet to really get settled down here in my new hometown. I don't really have any friends outside of work to hang out with, which doesn't really bother me but I am lacking in activities to do like I used to. Even if it was just one day a week when I went over to Thom's to play D&D. I know I used to be able to go around and see all my friends, it's not even really about that. I don't really have the time to go out and do stuff like that.

I'm am tired of being the silent one..but the rule of being around is to keep your mouth shut, no matter what. Einstein said that if a successful life is A..and A=x+y+z ..then x=work, y=play, and z=keeping your mouth shut.

I just want to have things be simple again. I'm tired of addicts, i'm tired of shit bags in other states, i'm tired of animals, i'm tired of so much shit...and it all doesn't even really matter because I can do something about it all if I stopped being lazy...but I guess what i'm trying to say to myself is why should I have to do something about it? I walked into the situation when I moved up here...I am in no means regretting moving here...I just wish that moving here would have been simple. I suppose nothing in life is simple by any means...I just think that the apartment I used to live in...it was simple. We had our bills lined up and we paid them. If the mentor network would have gotten their shit right the job situation would have been fine.

I think I am getting high blood pressure too..or something of the effect of it..probably doing me good to watch what i'm eating. I can't wait for my hair to get longer...it will be nice to have my hair long again like I used to. I can't wait for winter to set in..So much shit I can't wait for..heh..what else is new always so eager for shit that I have no control over.

I suppose thats another thing I am finding I am angry about..the lack of control I or my wife have over things...we are just pressing the walls of our boundaries and then moving back into placation. Neither of us are making the money we wanted to...we don't get the hours we want...so we aren't saving up all the money like we thought we would...american dream I suppose...work work work and it's never enough.  Fuck it.