Falling away from me.

So I have yet to really get settled down here in my new hometown. I don't really have any friends outside of work to hang out with, which doesn't really bother me but I am lacking in activities to do like I used to. Even if it was just one day a week when I went over to Thom's to play D&D. I know I used to be able to go around and see all my friends, it's not even really about that. I don't really have the time to go out and do stuff like that.

I'm am tired of being the silent one..but the rule of being around is to keep your mouth shut, no matter what. Einstein said that if a successful life is A..and A=x+y+z ..then x=work, y=play, and z=keeping your mouth shut.

I just want to have things be simple again. I'm tired of addicts, i'm tired of shit bags in other states, i'm tired of animals, i'm tired of so much shit...and it all doesn't even really matter because I can do something about it all if I stopped being lazy...but I guess what i'm trying to say to myself is why should I have to do something about it? I walked into the situation when I moved up here...I am in no means regretting moving here...I just wish that moving here would have been simple. I suppose nothing in life is simple by any means...I just think that the apartment I used to live in...it was simple. We had our bills lined up and we paid them. If the mentor network would have gotten their shit right the job situation would have been fine.

I think I am getting high blood pressure too..or something of the effect of it..probably doing me good to watch what i'm eating. I can't wait for my hair to get longer...it will be nice to have my hair long again like I used to. I can't wait for winter to set in..So much shit I can't wait for..heh..what else is new always so eager for shit that I have no control over.

I suppose thats another thing I am finding I am angry about..the lack of control I or my wife have over things...we are just pressing the walls of our boundaries and then moving back into placation. Neither of us are making the money we wanted to...we don't get the hours we want...so we aren't saving up all the money like we thought we would...american dream I suppose...work work work and it's never enough.  Fuck it.

Can it be sooner rather than later?

So at my job they've managed to somehow halve my hours that I'd asked for at the start of this whole shindig. Which making a little over ten dollars an hour is great and everything, but when you only get piss poor hours it doesn't really matter what you make. Hell I would take a pay cut if it meant that I got full time hours...at least then I wouldn't get raped in taxes as bad.

Called off work the other day, now everyone seems to dislike me even more so than I had previously expected. Walked into work, said Hello to Shane, first thing he does is look at me, nod, then walk out without a word. I let it go because it's like 9 in the morning and we are both tired. Well the day goes on and Dan comes in and I say hello, well...nothing...as expected. Well after that I got to talk to Rich, the head of the Asset Protection department, he wants me to work with him since I seem dedicated enough and focused on my job, he also knows of my martial arts background and my small time as a bouncer. Also sat down with Paul and I will be starting in the warehouse the second week of October so I am looking forward to that.

Came back to Cathy's for some bomb-diggity Chili. I fucking love chili. Especially when it's cold outside. So thats about all I got for that...Lets see...starting to cut back on the calorie intake, and upload on the proteins...so hopefully my Hulk like transformation will be awesome...at least more awesome than my transformation into a big Teal meanie.

A form of welcome and a little poem?

Blogging was something I did a long time ago, mostly as a form of putting up angst ridden poetry or odd stories that gravitated through my mind either during work or in the fleeting moments before I was whisked away to dreamland. Now some years later I have been asked by my wife to return to the act so that I can put down some of my thought processes, inspiration influences, strokes of 'genius' or just whats grinding my gears. 

To those that have made it past that small introduction, welcome. I don't really have much to say within this first post, however I am sure there will be much more to come. So with this first post I'll just put up some words strung together for a little bit and see what they look like after....enjoy.

I used to be so young and invincible.
The mistakes of my youth are finally catching up to me.
The face that stares back in the mirror should carry nothing but pride.
As the days go by, it's getting harder to hold my head up high.
I've never been so tired,
I've never felt so weak,
But I swear to you that I'm not giving up.
My storied life is coming to a graceful descent.
Descend.
I've seen peace end and battles begin.
I won't forget the lives I touched.
I won't forget the life I know.
As the days go by, it's getting harder to hold my head up high.
I used to think I'd last forever.
I'm praying for the light to just carry me away.
Say goodnight.
Say goodbye.
This is my time to be with my lord.